Never stop falling...

I will always remember that day. The Christmas season is always a stressfull time, especially in retail. The long hours having been spent setting up plan-o-grams, sales stickers and holiday signage can be completely exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I was a newly single father of two and I had to make time to shop for Christmas presents. I was, to say the least, stressed.
What happens next? The exact answer to a prayer that was prayed not just a few days prior; I got the life change I was looking for. You came to me. You needed shoes, and now I know why you needed those shoes. You had to begin your walk with me. Not by accident, not by fate, but by the power of our loving heavenly Father who knew WE needed each other. I totally know after almost twelve years together (11 years of marriage) I needed you.
Love has been defined by many so-called experts as a feeling of falling and then being stable to never fall again. I fall in love with you many times throughout every year. I have a complete life since you married me. My remaining days on this earth will be filled with ways to make you the happiest woman on earth. Because you are worth it.
I know that the future will still have days that are better than others. I will still stress you out and I will get mad over something you say or do. We will argue. But arguing is good, especially when the person you argue with is WORTH arguing with. And you are SO worth it.
But above all that, you are worth all the best. You deserve to have a man who will give you all of him and never cease. I (again) promise you that I will love you for the rest of my life. I also promise that now and again, I will fall in love with you all over again. 11 years is a long time, but its just the tip of the iceberg.
Happy 11th Anniversary Tamara Kay Edwards. My love, my life, my all. You make me smile!

Phobia or Fear?

I believe in the truth. I will admit that over my years of life (40 and counting) I have not been the most honest man. Integrity used to be a phobia of mine. I was scared to tell the truth because of who it might hurt. Me, maybe someone else. But as our parents have told us, the older you get the wiser you get. I am no mastermind genius, but I know the difference between right and wrong.
The case that I bring up is when I see people telling other "I will be praying for you" or "sending prayers your way". These are sweet and almost comforting phrases that tend to get used a lot. But who are we praying to? I am having trouble knowing that I am a sinner and I pray to God who will not look upon sin. When I sin, He is not looking at me. He cant! How can He still love me?
I have been hearing lately about "phobia". People think that if someone does not accept someone else because of a different lifestyle, then they are suffering from a phobia. Again, if a lifestyle that is chosen that has been deemed a sin by God, how can we accept it and still expect God to listen to our prayers? Look at this in human standards. If you have bad credit, a bank will not look at you. You will get NO help from a bank. Why? Because bad credit is BAD. However, you can possibly go to a sub-prime lender and get a loan for an terrible interest rate. Is that acceptance? It is putting you further into debt and you are paying a higher price. However, you got what you wanted...acceptance. Is the price of acceptance worth it?

Educating the School

We had our meeting for our daughter's 504 plan at school. For those that may not know, a 504 plan is a recognition of a dissability that allows the student equal access to an education. If a child has a dissability, thier dissability cannot hinder them from an equal education. It basically puts all students on an equal playing field regardless of thier dissability.
The meeting did not go as planned. We met with Dr. Jerban of Marietta Dermatology and got the official diagnosis of our daughters EBS. He even prescribed some creams and bandages that would increase and promote healing. This is what the school wanted us to get before we could move forward. My wife and I met with the principal, the school nurse over the district, the PE coach, the counselor and the teacher. We were outnumbered and put on the defensive as soon as the conversation started. They kept saying "we are a team", however when that term came up, they looked at one another, not us. We were not a part of thier team. It was almost like they were ready to turn us down the moment we walked in. We explained to them that EBS is skin condition that is hereditary and mainly affects the hands and feet. There is a carotine in skin that helps protect the skin from trauma (walking, running, holding things that are heavy). Me and three of my five children are missing this carotine. In a nutshell, we get blisters very easy.
Our daughter has been having a rather difficult time this year than usual. Our oldest son has this and I am only used to seeing it in boys so I had no idea how it would affect my daughter. Needless to say this year has been bad. Our daughter comes home about every other day limping because her feet hurt. She mentioned this to her Physical Education teachers and was told to bring a note from home or a doctors note. So we have been providing those.
I digress...we explained to the "team" that our daughter does not ALWAYS get blisters (no need to lie about it) only does she get them when the weather is really hot and/or she is playing a lot. When the blisters form, they can be excrutiating (I have this, I know). I explained that our daughter would need to sit out of PE and/or remove her shoes to relieve the pain.
The nurse asked if the accomodations being made to our daughter would help. We said yes they will help. Really all the school needs to do is when she says she is hurting, dont force her to participate and dont let her grade be affected. The "team" agreed that because the accomodations were not significant enough and that even though this dissability was life-long, it was "mild". With this being said, the "team" agreed that the 504 plan was to be denied however a medical plan for this year would be provided. Are you KIDDING ME?? MILD?? Have you ever walked on your feet with them oozing blood from open wounds? This is MILD? We have always taught our child to not let the dissability weaken her. We tell that to all of our kids no matter the situation. Now, since we teach our kids to be strong, the school thinks that a "mild" dissability (in thier eyes) needs no protection. Excuse me, but didnt you ask me to provide documentation from a specialist? Did the specialist not tell you that she would have this all of her life and that she will never be cured? Does the documentation not say "accomodations must be made"?
Here is the outcome. We have no 504 plan but the school "recognizes" her dissability. Therefore they will make accomodations for this year. This in no way binds the teachers next year to do the same. So this means that at some point we will all have to meet at the table again (taking time out of work and pay) to discuss our daughters dissability again. Not only that, we have another daughter that in 4 years will be subject to the same. However, the 504 plan would follow our daughter all through her years at school and we would not have to keep explaining to every teacher what is happening.

Did I mention that "this ain't over"?! Like I said, my wonderful wife and I are not a couple of uneducated people that can be pushed around by a polyester business suit wearing counselor who looks like she just got out of high school. By the way lady, how do you breathe through those Voldermoort slits in your nose??? (now I am just being mean). Like I said, this is not over and we are about to have what my grandaddy would call "a good old fashioned prayer meeting". Please, if you know of someone who might do some pro-bono advocacy work in the Cobb area, please let me know.

Its bitter for a reason, spit it out

I have once again been put into a precarious situation. I wont get into detail, but something has happened that will affect my future. This blog is not about what happened but how I am trying to cope with it.
Jesus said, if your brother strikes your cheek, give him the other cheek as well. If he sues you for your shirt, give him your coat as well. So here I am dealing with a person who has selfishly limited my ability to move up with the company. Thank God we have been studying James on Sunday because had we not, I may be doing things a little different. I am wrestling with myself trying to not seek justice rather just go on doing my job and helping others. That is what is keeping the peace at my workplace right now. I have people who depend on me to lead them so that will need to be my focus.
The human struggle here on earth is trust. Look at your daily life and what you have to deal with. If you had a bad day, it was probably due to a trust issue. You went to the same coffee shop you have trusted for years and they messed up your latte. You asked your best friend for a favor and they turned had to turn you down. You may have taken the same road to work that you have trusted and it was backed up. Somehow, there was trust that was the problem. I have had my share of trust issues. Not being able to trust people and also not being trusted myself. I brought that upon myself. So when my trust has been broken with someone else, I must not let it dwell with me.
Life is hard enough without having to dwell on the bad things. I am now 40 years old and sitting here I can totally list (endlessly) my blessings that God has given me. I have a wife of whom I adore. My children light up my life and love me. My mom lives with us and helps us not have to pay childcare. I have a job and I feel I will have it for awhile. Just a few weeks ago, a true friend gave my family a blessing we were never expecting. These are true gifts from God. (pay attention to the segway)
GOD. God is who I should trust above all things. He has always brought the good to my life and He always will. Yet, I do have trouble trusting Him to make the right things happen in my life. I want this, but I get that. I prayed for something and got something else. I had to change that last sentence becuase it first read "I prayed for something and got nothing". That is not true, when I pray for something I want I always get something. It may not be what I want, but it ends up being what I need. God does that. He is our Father, he treats us as a caring parent would. He has the ability to give us anything we NEED. The fact is, when we get what we need, there is a blessing tied to it always.
So today and on I will try to look through my human eyes and human heart at the blessings that come from dissapointment. Look at your children. They want several things but sometimes you can only give them what they need. They may be sad, but they always meet you at the door the next day more happy to see you than the previous day. That is because you cared enough to meet their needs. Isnt that what God does? So why arent we meeting Him at the door everyday with a smile when He gets home from work? He never stops taking care of us. You could say thats His job and He is mighty good at it. James says it best;
 ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

The FURTHER decline of WC?

In this day to day, dog eat dog, check to check, double word double life-do we ever stop to think how fast we are going and why does it have to be SO fast? My personal opinion is that one source of all this entitlement to get things "NOW" are drive thru service. Yes, I said drive thru service.
Why do we go through a drive thru? Lets examine that for a moment.
1. Dont want to go inside
2. Too lazy to go inside
3. Want it FAST!
4. Want it FASTER than going inside!
5. I think you are getting the point.
What has happned to our United States of the fast and furious? The overwhelming need to get it done fast and now! I do of course go to the drive thru at most places. However, being in the type of work I am in, I would rather wait than have my purchase done so fast that quality was taken away from it. Take or instance going to the bank. I hope no one out there goes through the drive thru wanting faster service at a bank. Are you serious? Do you want that teller to go so fast that a mistake might be made and your money is totally messed up? Heaven forbid! If you were looking for fast service, you gave up your right to efficient service.
This mentality goes for everything we do in life. We are such a nation of get it done yesterday thinking we have lost the need for quality. Oh yes we WANT quality, but if I can get it faster, I will give up my quality.
Take a moment children. Walk into Starbucks. Park in the back last space of Wal Mart. Take a little time to look around you. Before you know it, you are 40+ and you wonder where it all went. What did I miss? Life only comes around once.

I feel sorrow tonight. As much as I look at life and I let life stress me out, I dont think enough for those who are trying to cling to life. A good friend of mine from high school lost her 10 year old son to cancer this morning. Evan Thomason went to be with God today. I am thinking of my five children, my five healthy children and I think of Evan. I could not fathom losing my child to cancer. Melissa is Evans mother and my friend. She has been forced to be strong while having to sit and watch her little boy suffer. Now she suffers as she has to let go of this brave warrior. I pray that our loving Father sits with her and holds her and her family tight. Goodbye Evan, I never met you but you have made a change in my life.

Respect the past...

Ms. Jane (Janie I call her) is by far one of my favorite customers. I know that I talk a lot about the irrate people that come into my store (and there are many) but I want to focus on a real sweetheart.

Ms. Janie is an older lady with a sparkling smile and a face of grandmother meeting you at the door with milk and cookies. She spends her time giving all that she can for soldiers who fought, soldiers who are fighting and soldiers who have given thier lives fighting for us. She knows generals, colonels, and all the brass this side of Georgia. There are officers around here that have the power to send 100's of men to war, but to Ms. Janie they are little boys who run in the backyard using a fallen tree branch as a gun and throwing pine cones as grenades; and those officers respect her for that.

Today Ms. Janie came in to ask about some of her accounts as she often does. Whenever she comes in I hope to have a stack of magazines to send with her to the wounded soldiers she visits weekly. Today, I had actual books donated by my mom. Ms. Janie was thrilled as always with what I gave her and she wanted to show me something.

She pulled from her purse a printed e-mail and a little card (the kind of card they give out at funerals with information about the recently departed person). On that card was a black and white picture of a grinning man wearing a barnstormer leather helmet. He had the goggles and all and he looked thrilled. Ms. Janie told me that this was Elmer "Gene" Browning and that he had recently passed away. She said "love, I am going to keep you for a minute because I want you to hear his fascinating story."

Elmer was a ball turret gunner on a B-17 fighter plane. His plane was shot down in Germany where it crash landed in an open field. Gene's shoulder and hip was hurt during the crash. He had to drag himself into the woods with his parachute in tow. When he made it to the woods, he heard some men coming towards him. He quickly gathered up some leaves and began to bury his parachute and himself. However, the men got to him just as he was about to cover himself up. He was very frightened of course. When he looked up at the men (there were two) he saw that one was holding a garden hoe. The men quickly grabbed Gene and all he could think of was that he was about to be beaten to death with the garden hoe the one man was carrying. The two men quickly dragged Gene towards a barn next to a garden. He felt a bit better about the hoe because he saw the garden and felt that these men were actual farmers. The men pulled him into the barn and began to undress him. Again, Gene had no idea what was about to happen especially when the men were now undressing him! They took his pistol from inside his jacket and another older man emerged from the back of the barn with some old farm clothes. They dressed Gene in the clothes quickly and took him out to the garden. The older man handed him the garden hoe, pushed his head to face the ground and mimicked him chopping the ground with the hoe. At this time the Nazi soldiers were coming past the farm and yelling at the farmers asking if they saw an American soldier come past. The farmers began yelling "yes,yes!" and pointed that the man was headed down the road. After the soldiers had left, the farmers took Gene into the barns storage room; removed the wood slats and made a makeshift bed in the wall of the storage area so that Gene could rest and heal.

After several months the farmers were able to contact the American consolate and arrange safe passage for Gene back to safety. He was carried by horse and cart for many miles before he made it back to the American side.

This story was so inspiring that I had to write about it. I dont ever have much to write about but this had to be told. There is much more to know about Gene and I intend to read as much as possible. I just "met" him today and I already think he is a fine American. Not only that, but those farmers were fine Germans to help him in his time of need.