Saved Life

Good morning friends and family.
I had to leave the comfort of my bed this morning very early due to a headache. My wife was in a similar situation, each of us could not sleep and got out of bed. My wife went back to bed but I decided to make a pot of java and see where my early morning thoughts took me. So here I am.
Each day I get my daily bread of Bible Gateways "Verse of the Day". This morning I read;

James 3:17-18

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

This verse (as many other verses often do) went hand in hand with an interview I watched of Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. She was being asked about what Dr. Kings stance would be on gay marriage. She delivered her view and what she felt Dr. King would have said; Everyone is deserving of love and kindness. She did make it known that the gospel does not support gay marriage. Again, she also said all humans deserve the love of God.

The verse above tells it clear; the WISDOM of Heaven is first of all PURE. I love how the bible puts the words in the correct order so that the facts are weighed evenly. For thousands of years, even before Christ there has been a definition of purity and what it means. Purity or pure has many definitions. One is "being free from moral fault or guilt". So when the wisdom from Heaven is given, it will first of all be pure and it will be free of fault. After James makes it clear that Heaven's wisdom is pure, he tells us all of these adjectives that relate to the treatment of everyone. Heaven will tell us the truth, but it will tell us the truth in a peace-loving way. I really love how James uses words that actually place him in humility to all that hear him. He states that the wisdom is considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. We see no terms of hate or bitterment.

Living the Saved Life teaches me that the truth will never change. There will always be a right and a wrong. If we choose to live right, we will not have to cover impurity. If we live wrong, we will always have to justify our wrong-doing. Regardless of the way we live, we should all be treated first in love.

God be with you today. May the love of Christ fill your day with happiness and grace.

"E.B."ing a dad...

I will go ahead and admit that I "borrowed" the name of this post from a blog I was reading today. The name of the blog was "EB"ing a mommy. It is about a single mother in Louisianna who has a son that has a degenerative form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. To be blunt, her son has defied the odds of many kids with his form of EB. It is deadly. It is the "deadliest disease no one has ever heard of" as described on ABC news.
I bring this up because I am a father of children with EB. Not only do two, possibly three of my kids have EB; but I do as well. I want to start by telling exactly what EB is.
Epidermolysis Bullosa is a skin condition where the skin is missing an adhesive layer (a carotine) and blistering becomes easy on the skin. There are many different forms and thank the Lord we have the milder form. But dont get me wrong, we would totally rather not have it. When you cant walk for a long time and running is really out of the question, it gets rather annoying. However annoying is better than pain.
On to the subject at hand. Being a parent of children with EB can be emotionally exhausting. When the summer months come around and we have to all meet on the couch with needles, poroxide and bandages it makes anyone want to cry. As we try to lance the blisters on our childs feet and treat them so they will not get infected. Infection is always an issue. The worst part of course is seeing our child cry because the pain is so bad. However, we are raising our kids to understand that this disease is NOT going away. With this in mind they will need to educate themselves so that they will not have to work in labor intensive jobs. So yes, we teach them that they will need to "deal with it" in order to survive the real world.
Here is where it gets rough. While we are raising our kids to value a good education, the hard fact is our child has a dissability. And a disability is protected by the law. Sometimes EB can affect them at school. We knew this so we decide to team up with our childs school to get her protected under the American Disabilities Act. By providing what the school calls a "504 Plan" our child will be protected from losing valuable education time due to her disability. It was supposed to be a simple meeting. We were to get a doctors "expert diagnosis" and bring that diagnosis and information on the disease to a meeting with the principle, the head school district nurse, the teacher and the counselor. To make a long story short, the nurse and the other staff did not feel that the DOCTORS diagnosis was serious enough to allow the 504 plan. Wow, since when does a school nurse have more intellect than a doctor? To go even further, a specialist that has been studying these types of disorders all of his carreer.
I write all of this to say that I am very dissapointed in the staff at Lewis Elementary and the way this was handled. We were told to take our child to the doctor, get a diagnosis, and meet together so we could do what was appropriate for our childs future. Instead, the principal, the counselor, the P.E. teacher and the school nurse made the determination that our child did not need the protection of the 504 plan that is stated in the Americans Disability Act. She has a disability, it is a known disability, it was diagnosed as a disability...where is the problem here?
I will continue to protect my child and see that she and her sister get the education they need. I will also let the school system know that this is treatment that mirrors discrimination. I would welcome any and all feedback.

Today I am going to write from a part of me that I dont venture to that often. I am writing from my past. I try not to dwell in the past because it cant be changed. The best part of my past of course are things like meeting my dream girl, having my kids, becoming a Christian...good things like that make me smile. However, a part of my past reared its ugly head today and made me a bit upset.
I had always been hurt that my fathers mother, my paternal grandmother Beatrice, doted on my older brother from the day he was born until the day she died. She gave him things, even left him in her will to recieve a good portion of her estate. Now before I go on, she was not some old rich woman but she did leave land that had worth. Back to the point...it bothered me. It made me upset that my grandmother, my fathers mother, would place me below my sibling. So of course, with the lack of attention I recieved I felt that grandparents should either treat each grandchild equally or dis-regard them all together. Which brings me to today.
I have five children (in case you didnt know) and I love them all equally. Their treatments may be different only becuase I try to meet each at their own individual personallity. But my love remains un-altered. My two oldest are from a previous legal arrangement (duh, I was married once before). I split with thier mother and retained full custody of them. For some weird reason, it was known that my oldest child was given special treatment for some reason by my ex's grandparents. However, the "things" each child got seemed to be even. My oldest moved out a few years ago and so began the slow seperation of me and my 2nd oldest from the grandparents. Pretty soon neither one even called him. Never again was he invited to Christmas get togethers, Thanksgiving feasts and pretty soon even his birthday was not acknowledged. Not once did either of us get an explanation of this treatment.
My oldest is living in a house owned by his grandparents. He drives a vehicle given to him by his grandparents...you see where I am going with this? Now I find out that he has been given yet another (No. 3) vehicle from his grandparents! My 2nd oldest is about to celebrate his 16th birthday and this is the treatment he gets?? Not to mention that my oldest child with my wife also fell in love with my ex's grandparents. They treated her like a princess at first, but then it just ended!
I am not looking for anything from them. I will take care of my children as I always have. But when it is shoved in my kids face that they mean little to nothing to those who are supposed to love them dearly, that makes me angry. My 2nd oldest is an A-B student. He loves God. He loves to help people. He is a great big brother and son. I am just floored that he is the one being treated like an outcast. I really dont care that much that his bio-carrier has totally cut him from her life; my wife is the only mom he wants or needs. But he did nothing to deserve this treatment. I hope they see what they have missed.

your not entitled to entitlement...

Today I get to go to work late. Its one of those little "ahhh" moments I don't get to take advantage of often. So I get to catch up on things. I get to make some cheesy taters for my loving wife so she can take them to her school team. I will run by the Italian Restaurant that my son wants to work at and pick him up an application. Those things I cant do because of my job, you know?
I also get to catch up on current events and to tell you the truth, I wish I had not. I get to see Alec Baldwin getting kicked off of a plane for being mouthy with a flight attendant. Of course there are many ways to look at this. Through the eyes of the attendant, there are rules and regulations that all must follow. Turn off mobile devices, bring your seat to an upright position...you know the drill. So she has instructed Mr. Baldwin to deactivate his Ipad and he refuses. She in turn (because acting weird on a plane has now become taboo) openly lets Mr. Baldwin know that he MUST turn off his Ipad. Mr. Baldwin is said to have exchanged rude words and is "thrown" off of the plane. Through the eyes of the media, Mr. Baldwin has succumb to losing his status as a big star and rich guy. He is taught a lesson that he can not use his fame to get his way. Great job middle class attendant, you taught that bow-hard a lesson he will never forget!
Through the eyes of Mr. Baldwin. Here is a guy who is used to cameras and media being in his face all the time. Sometimes its annoying and sometimes its nice. Because he is a "known" person he feels that he is being singled out by this attendant. Was he? Maybe, but he did say that others were tweeting about the incident on their phones the entire time he was being instructed to turn off the Ipad. He feels the airline was giving terrible service.
Lets look at the overall stance of our beloved country. Because of the media and the current administration, the rich and famous have become flamboyant toys that no one wants to play with any longer. It used to be cool to say "I waited on Bill Cosby today" or " I got an autograph from George Strait". Not any more. Look on Ebay. An autographed guitar by Gene Simmons is worth less than the same guitar with nothing written on it. The middle and lower class just does not care.
I think its because so many people feel that because we live in America, we ALL deserve to be rich and famous. Many do not want to work for their riches, they want it handed to them.
However, this blog is about entitlement and rules. The main thing to understand is that no matter who you are, the rules apply to you. No one is exempt from the rule. Yes, maybe in certain instances, certain circles and at certain places you have been led to believe "that rule does not apply to me" however, to the person in front of you that has NEVER met you before...you are nothing more than a new face that will adhere to rules and policies just like everyone else. Try to remember this. If you have ever been given a pass on following a rule others must follow, don't you feel that they have been discriminated against?
Just your morning coffee, enjoy!

Never stop falling...

I will always remember that day. The Christmas season is always a stressfull time, especially in retail. The long hours having been spent setting up plan-o-grams, sales stickers and holiday signage can be completely exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I was a newly single father of two and I had to make time to shop for Christmas presents. I was, to say the least, stressed.
What happens next? The exact answer to a prayer that was prayed not just a few days prior; I got the life change I was looking for. You came to me. You needed shoes, and now I know why you needed those shoes. You had to begin your walk with me. Not by accident, not by fate, but by the power of our loving heavenly Father who knew WE needed each other. I totally know after almost twelve years together (11 years of marriage) I needed you.
Love has been defined by many so-called experts as a feeling of falling and then being stable to never fall again. I fall in love with you many times throughout every year. I have a complete life since you married me. My remaining days on this earth will be filled with ways to make you the happiest woman on earth. Because you are worth it.
I know that the future will still have days that are better than others. I will still stress you out and I will get mad over something you say or do. We will argue. But arguing is good, especially when the person you argue with is WORTH arguing with. And you are SO worth it.
But above all that, you are worth all the best. You deserve to have a man who will give you all of him and never cease. I (again) promise you that I will love you for the rest of my life. I also promise that now and again, I will fall in love with you all over again. 11 years is a long time, but its just the tip of the iceberg.
Happy 11th Anniversary Tamara Kay Edwards. My love, my life, my all. You make me smile!

Phobia or Fear?

I believe in the truth. I will admit that over my years of life (40 and counting) I have not been the most honest man. Integrity used to be a phobia of mine. I was scared to tell the truth because of who it might hurt. Me, maybe someone else. But as our parents have told us, the older you get the wiser you get. I am no mastermind genius, but I know the difference between right and wrong.
The case that I bring up is when I see people telling other "I will be praying for you" or "sending prayers your way". These are sweet and almost comforting phrases that tend to get used a lot. But who are we praying to? I am having trouble knowing that I am a sinner and I pray to God who will not look upon sin. When I sin, He is not looking at me. He cant! How can He still love me?
I have been hearing lately about "phobia". People think that if someone does not accept someone else because of a different lifestyle, then they are suffering from a phobia. Again, if a lifestyle that is chosen that has been deemed a sin by God, how can we accept it and still expect God to listen to our prayers? Look at this in human standards. If you have bad credit, a bank will not look at you. You will get NO help from a bank. Why? Because bad credit is BAD. However, you can possibly go to a sub-prime lender and get a loan for an terrible interest rate. Is that acceptance? It is putting you further into debt and you are paying a higher price. However, you got what you wanted...acceptance. Is the price of acceptance worth it?

Educating the School

We had our meeting for our daughter's 504 plan at school. For those that may not know, a 504 plan is a recognition of a dissability that allows the student equal access to an education. If a child has a dissability, thier dissability cannot hinder them from an equal education. It basically puts all students on an equal playing field regardless of thier dissability.
The meeting did not go as planned. We met with Dr. Jerban of Marietta Dermatology and got the official diagnosis of our daughters EBS. He even prescribed some creams and bandages that would increase and promote healing. This is what the school wanted us to get before we could move forward. My wife and I met with the principal, the school nurse over the district, the PE coach, the counselor and the teacher. We were outnumbered and put on the defensive as soon as the conversation started. They kept saying "we are a team", however when that term came up, they looked at one another, not us. We were not a part of thier team. It was almost like they were ready to turn us down the moment we walked in. We explained to them that EBS is skin condition that is hereditary and mainly affects the hands and feet. There is a carotine in skin that helps protect the skin from trauma (walking, running, holding things that are heavy). Me and three of my five children are missing this carotine. In a nutshell, we get blisters very easy.
Our daughter has been having a rather difficult time this year than usual. Our oldest son has this and I am only used to seeing it in boys so I had no idea how it would affect my daughter. Needless to say this year has been bad. Our daughter comes home about every other day limping because her feet hurt. She mentioned this to her Physical Education teachers and was told to bring a note from home or a doctors note. So we have been providing those.
I digress...we explained to the "team" that our daughter does not ALWAYS get blisters (no need to lie about it) only does she get them when the weather is really hot and/or she is playing a lot. When the blisters form, they can be excrutiating (I have this, I know). I explained that our daughter would need to sit out of PE and/or remove her shoes to relieve the pain.
The nurse asked if the accomodations being made to our daughter would help. We said yes they will help. Really all the school needs to do is when she says she is hurting, dont force her to participate and dont let her grade be affected. The "team" agreed that because the accomodations were not significant enough and that even though this dissability was life-long, it was "mild". With this being said, the "team" agreed that the 504 plan was to be denied however a medical plan for this year would be provided. Are you KIDDING ME?? MILD?? Have you ever walked on your feet with them oozing blood from open wounds? This is MILD? We have always taught our child to not let the dissability weaken her. We tell that to all of our kids no matter the situation. Now, since we teach our kids to be strong, the school thinks that a "mild" dissability (in thier eyes) needs no protection. Excuse me, but didnt you ask me to provide documentation from a specialist? Did the specialist not tell you that she would have this all of her life and that she will never be cured? Does the documentation not say "accomodations must be made"?
Here is the outcome. We have no 504 plan but the school "recognizes" her dissability. Therefore they will make accomodations for this year. This in no way binds the teachers next year to do the same. So this means that at some point we will all have to meet at the table again (taking time out of work and pay) to discuss our daughters dissability again. Not only that, we have another daughter that in 4 years will be subject to the same. However, the 504 plan would follow our daughter all through her years at school and we would not have to keep explaining to every teacher what is happening.

Did I mention that "this ain't over"?! Like I said, my wonderful wife and I are not a couple of uneducated people that can be pushed around by a polyester business suit wearing counselor who looks like she just got out of high school. By the way lady, how do you breathe through those Voldermoort slits in your nose??? (now I am just being mean). Like I said, this is not over and we are about to have what my grandaddy would call "a good old fashioned prayer meeting". Please, if you know of someone who might do some pro-bono advocacy work in the Cobb area, please let me know.